Day 19: Ready for Tommorow

Everyday presents new challenges. There is tension and pressure wherever you go, especially in the city of LA. Sometimes that tension comes from the outside world and sometimes it comes from you. Ultimately we are facing the same assignment but with different characters. Sometimes these people are from the past and sometimes they are standing right in front of you and sometimes you simply have to look in the mirror. For me being present is incredibly difficult. My mind is often drifting. I have always been this way. Sometimes I am aware of it and others times I am in Never never  land.  A friend told me recently that when he talks to me that it's like he's talking to a brick wall. I was probably thinking something like"what am i going to do about the 3rd line the chorus. It's so close but oh darn, what should it be!!!" No matter what the day or person i'm talking to this is always a challenge for me. I think life is the movie Groundhog Day. We relive the same things until we get them right or least until our awareness is very deep.  Change is uncomfortable. Even if our current situation is not what we would desire we are used to it and we become comfortable with our uncomfortableness. The point is that I haven't been present and I haven't been honest despite my best intentions. Major changes are on the way because I am willing to fail, I am willing to speak up, i am willing to admit that i was wrong and this is a new experience. So if you see me in Never never land please be patient and also please let me know because I have relived this day many times and I am ready for tommorow.