Day 19.5 Questioning the Process.

This the first time I am writing 2 posts in one day but I will like I need to vent. Today I got down with work at 8pm. It was a long day and I was tired. I headed over to Cantors Kibitz Room in Hollywood. I saw some people that I have been seeing at different open mics and that was nice. I probably should have sang a bit in the car but I didn't. I was feeling like singing my song "Someday". It is a bit high in the chorus section and I didn't sing at my best. This has happened many times recently. I am questioning the process. In order for me to sing at my best I have to be well rested and relaxed and tonight I was neither. I will acknowledge that the point of me doing this challenge is more spiritual in nature and not necessarily all about music but it's difficult when I don't perform at my best. That voice is my head that tells me I'm not good enough starts to get really loud. I hate when I know I wasn't at my best. I want to get better of letting go. The person who I hurt the most is myself. Ok time for bed. Going to do it all over again tommorow.